Posted on Sanskari Saturday!
Dear Log Kya Kahenge,
You’ve haunted me longer than any horror movie villain.
You popped up when I wore jeans in college, sneered through my wedding guest list, and now, here you are again—offering your unsolicited two cents on how I’m raising my child.
You’ve become the unofficial spokesperson of society.
From the moment I peed on a stick, your energy showed up louder than my morning sickness.
“Will you have a normal delivery?”
“Will you quit your job now that you’re becoming a mother?”
“Hope you’ve started reading the Hanuman Chalisa to the bump—at least make the baby sanskaari from inside.”
The auntie at every family function, the stranger in my Instagram DMs, the uncle who wants to know why my baby isn’t wearing kajal or hasn’t had their mundan yet.
And don’t even get me started on the time I said I wasn’t giving my 6-month-old honey because—gasp—the pediatrician said not to.
You ask too many questions:
- Why didn’t you do a full-blown Godh Bharai with 300 guests and 1 disco ball?
- You haven’t pierced her ears yet? What are you waiting for—college?
- Formula? Oh ho. Poor baby. Didn’t latch?
- Why’s he not saying shlokas yet? At this age, mine was already reciting Chandi Path from memory.
Honestly, Log Kya Kahenge, I’m tired.
🧿 “Don’t do this, it’s not our sanskaar”
Let’s talk about sanskaar. Because clearly, you and I have very different definitions.
You think sanskaar is pierced ears before the baby can sit up.
I think it’s letting my kid say “no” with confidence.
You think sanskaar is chanting mantras on cue.
I think it’s teaching my toddler to say “thank you” to the grocery delivery guy.
You think sanskaar is about appearances.
I think it’s about values.
I’ve been told I’m too modern, too soft, too opinionated, too western, too bold—mostly by people who’ve never changed a diaper at 3 AM or fought a toddler who refuses to eat anything that isn’t shaped like a dinosaur.
Being sanskari isn’t about ticking every cultural checkbox—it’s about raising kids who are kind, curious, and not afraid to question the status quo.
Even if that means they go to preschool without a tika on their forehead or dare to eat non-veg on Tuesdays.
🎭 The Auntie Chorus: Always on Cue
Dear Log kya kahenge, your chorus is always ready for opening night:
- “Still breastfeeding? Uff, stop it already.”
- “Not breastfeeding? Oh ho, poor baby.”
- “No black thread on the ankle? Nazar lag jaayegi!”
- “No silver anklets? You’re not doing anything for tradition?”
- “Formula? Oh… she must not have bonded with the baby yet.”
- “Daycare? Wow, moms today are so career-obsessed.”
- “No daycare? So you’re wasting your degree?”
Don’t you see? This is a lose-lose situation, unless your parenting style is government-approved and great grand aunt-verified.
😮💨 What You Don’t See
You don’t see the eighteen tabs I have open on my phone at 2 AM about poop color charts, growth spurts and what snack isn’t a choking hazard today. I don’t need the extra browser window of your judgment slowing me down.
You don’t see the silent guilt of missing a milestone because I took a shower.
You don’t see me carrying not just a baby bag, but the weight of expectations from generations before me.
And you certainly don’t see me Googling “Can I raise a happy, kind child without going completely bonkers?”
🧘🏽♀️ My Kind of Sanskaar
Let’s redefine what it means to be sanskaari, shall we?
- My kid will learn to say “sorry” and mean it.
- They will learn to question—gently, kindly, but fearlessly.
- They will grow up around culture, but also around consent.
- They will know why we light a diya, but also why it’s okay to skip a ritual if it feels forced.
- They’ll learn to pray and protest, to respect elders and set boundaries.
And if that makes them “less sanskaari” in your books, I’ll happily take that C grade.
📢 Because Here’s What I Am Doing:
- ✅ I’m choosing what works for my kid and my sanity.
- ✅ I’m blending rituals with reason, not just following a playbook from 1852.
- ✅ I’m letting my child grow into their own identity, not one built on “logon ka kehna.”
So here’s the deal, dear Log Kya Kahenge:
You don’t get a seat at our dining table, our naming ceremony, or our doctor’s appointments.
You don’t get to comment on my child’s food, mood, or poop schedule.
You don’t get to decide how “Indian” my kid is based on how we dress or how often we do arti.
You’ve had the mic for long enough.
This is me, turning the volume down on your voice—so I can finally hear my own.
Sincerely,
A Very Tired, Slightly Rebellious, Fully Desi Mom
…
🪔 Welcome to Sanskari Saturday
This post is the first in a brand-new series called The Sanskari Survival Guide, where I unpack desi parenting with equal parts heart and hilarity.
📅 When?
Every Saturday on thegoodjuju.blog.
📦 What to expect?
- Deep dives into Indian baby traditions,
- Hot takes on cultural norms,
- Sass, sentiment, and some hard-earned sanity,
- And zero judgment. (Unless you’re still asking if my baby’s too “fair” or too “dark.” Then yes, full judgment.)
🔮 Next up on The Sanskari Survival Guide:
“Modern Moms, Ancient Wisdom: How to Blend Sanskar with Science in Daily Life”
Mixing mantras with mess and mustard oil with milestones—this one’s for the moms who do it all, the desi way. 💪🏽🪔
From Dettol to diyas, the post is about how I blend sanskar with science without losing my mind (or my baby’s socks). 🍼🧘🏽♀️✨
Don’t miss it.
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