Ah, parenting. The one job where you get zero training, endless judgment, and a tiny boss who throws food at you.
If you’re an Indian millennial raising kids today, chances are you grew up with “Because I said so!” as a legitimate reason for everything.
And now?
You’re googling “gentle parenting techniques” while your toddler negotiates bedtime like a Supreme Court lawyer.
My husband and I were both 90s kids, raised in the era of Doordarshan, landlines, and that one cassette tape you played until it died.
Our parents? Straight-up traditionalists.
Us? Let’s just say we’ve got one foot in “we turned out fine” and the other in “but therapy is expensive”.
So, let’s break it down—traditional parenting vs. modern parenting in India—and see which one wins the parenting championship (spoiler: neither, because the kids always win).
1. Discipline
Fear vs. Feelings
Our Parents’ Style:
- “Ek thappad padega” (One slap will fix it).
- The threat was often more effective than the actual punishment.
- Feelings? What feelings? Your sadness, frustration, and complaints were met with a “Chup! Bade hoke sab samajh aayega” (Be quiet! You’ll understand when you grow up).
Our Style Today:
- We read books about gentle parenting and big emotions.
- We say things like “I see that you’re upset, would you like to talk about it?”
- Our toddlers scream “NO!” and throw a shoe at us.
- We Google: “Is it normal to be outsmarted by a three-year-old?”
Verdict:
Fear-based parenting produced obedient kids.
Feelings-based parenting produces kids who negotiate like CEOs but refuse to eat dal.
Pick your struggle.
2. Eating Habits
Just Eat vs. Endless Options
Our Parents’ Style:
- You ate what was on the plate. No ifs, no buts.
- “Roti and sabzi again?!” – Yes, and be grateful.
- Hungry? “Kitchen band ho gaya.” (The kitchen is closed.)
- If you refused food, you’d hear: “Bachpan me hum ek time ki roti bhi mushkil se khate the!” (When we were kids, we barely had one meal a day!). Instant guilt trip.
Our Style Today:
- “What do you feel like eating, beta?”
- We try Pinterest meal ideas, cut sandwiches into animal shapes, and hide vegetables like it’s an undercover mission.
- Kid refuses to eat? “Okay, let’s try a different snack” (Repeat five times).
- Our fridge has three types of milk—cow, almond, oat—because choices.
Verdict:
Traditional parenting won mealtime battles.
Modern parenting? We’re just tired.
3. Screen Time
TV Once a Week vs. iPads Everywhere
Our Parents’ Style:
- TV time was limited and sacred. Sunday morning Jungle Book, Shaktimaan, and Mogli—that was it.
- No personal devices. Want to play a game? Go outside and climb a tree.
Our Style Today:
- “Let’s limit screen time.” (Hahaha. Cute.)
- iPads, smartphones, smart TVs—we live on screens, and so do our kids.
- Screen time rules? Conveniently ignored when we need a break.
- Toddler watching Peppa Pig for too long? Guilt!
- Toddler throws tantrum when screen is taken away? Regret!
Verdict
Screens are today’s babysitters.
Let’s just hope our kids don’t grow up thinking YouTube is a real person.
4. Play & Activities
Free Play vs. Scheduled Everything
Our Parents’ Style:
- You went outside to play without supervision.
- No fancy toys, sensory bins, or playdates—just a bunch of kids running wild.
- Got hurt? “Kuch nahi hota, mitti laga do.” (Nothing happens, just rub some dirt on it).
Our Style Today:
- Play is now structured, sanitized, and scheduled.
- Swimming, dance, music, coding—because apparently, kids need a resume before they turn five.
- Playdates are planned like business meetings: “Are you free next Sunday from 4:00 to 5:30 for a playdate?”
Verdict
Traditional parenting let kids be kids.
Modern parenting turned childhood into a LinkedIn profile.
5. Education
Marks vs. Learning
Our Parents’ Style:
- Marks = everything. Period.
- “90% aaya? Baaki 10% kahan gaya?” (You got 90%? Where did the remaining 10% go?)
- Report card day = Tension, lectures, comparison with Sharma Ji’s son.
- Career options: Doctor, Engineer, or failure.
Our Style Today:
- “Marks don’t matter, learning does!”
- We praise effort over results (“You tried your best, beta!”).
- We encourage passions, even if our child’s passion is collecting rocks.
- Secretly, though? We still panic if their grades drop.
Verdict
Modern parenting is progressive, but let’s be honest—we still check Sharma Ji’s son’s marks.
So, Who Wins?
Honestly? Neither. Or Both! Depends on your perspective.
Traditional parenting was strict but simpler. Kids were tougher, expectations were clear, and parents didn’t overthink every little thing.
Modern parenting? More mindful, more respectful, but also more exhausting. We analyze, read, research, and overcompensate. We want to do better, but sometimes, it feels like we’re just tired all the time.
So, what’s the best approach?
Maybe a mix of both—a little bit of old-school toughness with a sprinkle of modern gentleness.
Teach respect, but listen.
Set boundaries, but explain them.
Let kids have choices, but also remind them that life doesn’t always work that way.
And most importantly?
Let’s give ourselves a break.
Because no matter how we parent—our kids will still blame us for something when they grow up.
Your turn—what’s one thing from your childhood that you wish modern parenting still had?
Drop a comment (or a virtual sigh) below!
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